Dennis Latham: Life, Fiction, and the Pursuit of Madness

 My grandson with Freddie from Return Of The Living Dead. "Brains, live brains." Bizarre Short Tales Again "He was a short, kind of tall, fat skinny guy. A kinda baldish, hairy dude with blondish black hair." Bubble-eyed Joe Mcphearson describing the guy who robbed him. The Confederate Army More than a half-century after the last Civil War veterans died, a chapter in Kentucky law still offers a $50-a-month pension to any veteran who can prove service in the Confederate Army. Confederate pensions are a legal relic akin to the passage in Kentucky’s oath of office that requires elected officials to swear that they have not fought a duel with deadly weapons nor offered to act as a second. (Is Kentucky planning for the future or do they really fight duels no one knows about? Kentucky already has the highest rate of smokers in the country. Could it be the stress from duels and no one old enough to collect Confederate pensions?) The real ...

I'm second from the left, back in the days before I went straight, when I was an enforcer for the notorious Clown Cartel. We extorted dues from every birthday party clown operating in Ohio, Indiana, and Kentucky. Still Even More Bizarre World Short Tales Andrew Jackson's Parrot    At   Andrew Jackson's funeral in 1845, his pet parrot had to be removed because it cussed when the preacher said anything good about the president. Jackson was a fighter and a drinker who loved to punch people bigger than he was when he got drunk. He once made the mistake of swinging at 6'8"   275 pound frontiersman Simon Kenton while in Kentucky. When Kenton knocked him across the room with one punch, Jackson stayed down and lived to become President. Had he pressed the issue, Kenton would have probably killed him. A cussing parrot for Jackson would have been a normal pet.     (I once heard of a guy who kept a parrot in his garage and it started cussing whenever he ...

Still More Bizarre Tales Of Real Life  You would never hear someone say, "Hey, he looks like old whats-his-face" about this armed robber. When You Die   When a person dies, hearing is generally the last sense to go. The first sense lost is usually sight. Then follows taste, smell, and touch. That's why I'll never be cremated. Hell, you might feel it. And if your hearing is last to go, and no one knows how long it takes because no one comes back from the dead, you may be able to hear everyone talking about you while you are in the coffin. At some point you'll probably hear, he looks good, doesn't he? It would suck to look better after you're dead than while you were alive. Passenger Screening     During the years that the TSA has been screening passengers, none of its employees anywhere has discovered a single terrorist. I imagine it's because they are not allowed to search anyone who may fit the profile of a terrorist because t...

  Michael In Hell  This is the back cover of Michael In Hell without all the writing on it. It's from a picture of me taken in 1994 in Aurora, Indiana. Some reader noticed when you turn the cover upside down, another kind of evil looking figure becomes visible with outstretched hands and long hair; standing in front of what looks like a large window. This could possibly be the monster part of Michael Tucker in the novel showing itself. This wasn't done on purpose and it does seem really weird. Some of the novel is based on truth. I won't admit exactly what parts beyond the Vietnam scenes that are based on my reality as a Marine during that war. I do know for sure there is a monster lurking in each of us. Michael In Hell on Amazon Kurt Vonnegut Short Take Vonnegut’s relations with women were vexed from the start. When he was 21, his mother successfully committed suicide — on Mother’s Day. Sunglasses and the Secret Service The Secret Service s...