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My Big Fat Operation or (Hmm, I'll Bet You Snorted Cocaine)

(What I imagined the operation would look like after I was out and having a nightmare.)

I had an operation at the Cincinnati VA to remove something called a papilloma from my right nostril. It’s basically a wart. I had two of them, one on the outside of the skin inside the nose and one called an inverted papilloma, with roots that dig under the skin inside the nose. It sounds gross as hell and I’m glad I didn’t have to see the things. They are supposed to be common, but I’ve never heard anyone say they ever had one. The inverted kind can turn into cancer, (10% chance) and no one seems to know what causes them.

(Before photo at left)
I’ve never been operated on except for my tonsils as a kid and ten years ago when I had another papilloma removed by a civilian doctor. The VA doctors also decided to fix my screwed up septum, since my nose has been broken several times. I went weeks ago in February for the operation and was put to sleep, but when I woke up, I found out that they didn’t do anything because they wanted to bring in a specialist to look at the inverted papilloma. That kind of pissed me off. I hate been put to sleep because it’s dangerous and I’m out of control of my body. I had the operation March 20. Like some damn nut, I had also decided to quit smoking in the same week. I figured since I couldn’t smoke while getting an operation, it would be a good time to stop.

My blood pressure dropped bad during the operation and I guess I was close to checking out. (They didn’t tell me how close.) But they gave me shots of something and my BP came back up, but it came back up too high. Being put to sleep is dangerous as hell and I hate it. I spent 18 hours in the ICU for what was supposed to be same day surgery. I couldn’t sleep because I was spitting blood and they took my blood pressure every fifteen minutes and gave me shots to bring it back down from about 224/108. (It had never been that high in my life.) They also gave me shots in the stomach to prevent blood clots in the legs from not being able to walk after surgery. They said they do that with all surgery now.
I’ve been going nuts ever since. I can’t sleep because of the screwed up nostril and I’ve been depressed and nasty while trying to stop smoking. It’s two weeks later and I’m still sore as hell on my right nostril. What is amazing to me is how much time slows down when you try to quit smoking and you’re in pain. Each day seems like it’s about a week long. (So in case anyone has sinus problems...have your nose checked out. I had these papillomas for years and didn’t even know it. I just thought I had clogged sinuses all the time. If one of them turns to cancer, it would be too close to the brain for a good prognosis. )
I can’t say the operation is worth it, but the growths should be removed. Besides, I always get the weird stuff. I also found out that when you tell people you had nose surgery and they worked on your septum, they automatically assume you used to snort cocaine. I’ve never done any drugs, but no one will believe you. They just kind of give you a sly look like they know one of your big secrets. (After photo below. Kind of swollen, but this could be a new look for me.)

Comments

  1. Anonymous6:05 AM

    Hey Dennis did you get that nose from Jacko the clown AKA Jack BolamThis made me laugh
    A real good laugh
    Cincinnati Carol

    ReplyDelete

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